Back to reality:
I'm going to try and start writing when I feel down. We'll see what happens; it'll be a bit of an experiment. I feel like lately I keep snapping back to what my life actually is after I have a period of time where I feel somewhat happy. If I'm being honest, which I may as well be, I still haven't fully overcome suicidal ideation. I have a therapy session in 2 days so maybe I'll talk to her about it, but probably not. My cat is in my lap right now, she's kind of all I have. I know I have Jesus too but I can't see him with my eyes, so it's different. I beatboxed in front of about 20 people a couple hour ago. It was kind of fun but I was more nervous than I should've been. I think I know why. I'm not going to share why for various reasons. I spoke to a kid there named Connor and we laughed quite a bit. He's 15 years old. I saw him last time sitting by himself so I kind of knew he was an introvert. There were some pretty young girls there (...